With the help of the club's first Champions League title, Chelsea announced their first annual profit since Roman Abramovich bought the club in 2003. The �1.4 million profit might not sound like a�colossal�amount of money, but for a club that spends as much as Chelsea, and coming after a loss of �67.7 million in the previous year, it's quite an achievement. And just in time for UEFA's Financial Fair Play rules. But that loot is already burning a hole in the club's pocket. Here are the ways Chelsea plan on putting it to work...
-Paying Liverpool an additional �50 million for Euro 2012 Golden Boot winner Fernando Torres just to confuse everyone and give them another wad of cash to spend in entertaining and ill-advised ways.
-Building an �800 million stadium in Los Angeles to be used exclusively for the club's preseason friendlies every other year.
-Spending �23 million on a ski-weekend/reunion for all managers sacked by Roman Abramovich. Even Avram Grant will be invited.
-�675,000 worth of shrimp cocktail.
-Burning �1.8 million in a bonfire outside of Emirates Stadium just to give Arsene Wenger a panic attack.
-No less than �44 million to be spent on a collection of exotic helmets for Petr Cech.
-Putting �213 million towards an internal committee to find Financial Fair Play workarounds.
-Another �2.9 million worth of shrimp cocktail.
-An indeterminate amount for private investigators and legal advisors to keep an eye on John Terry.
-At least �72 million to commission a statue of Didier Drogba and his morbidly obese cat, Kitier Katba.
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