Ahh, naive media pundits. The folks at�Sports  Illustrated recently linked to�television ratings to trumpet the success of the  Women's World Cup. Deadspin  and KCKRS did slightly better, glancing at the Google�traffic stats for "Hope Solo boyfriend" to evidence  a recent spike in interest. Yet with serious�financial issues facing the domestic female league  in the US, can such barometers of passing fancy be mistaken for an  anchor? 
 
No. Of course not. 
There can only be one true and conclusive  piece of evidence that Women's soccer has forever entered the American  sporting consciousness: the number of�Facebook  marriage proposals to USWNT substitute striker Alex Morgan in the  last 72 hours. 
 
Marriage is permanence, commitment, passion, endurance. Marriage is  'til death do us part. Only this enduring and symbolically important  societal norm can forecast the future of female soccer. Now I know your  first concern with this statistical analysis: would Morgan's�glorious  chipped goal to seal the win over France cause a rush of blood to  young men's heads? Probably. Hence, we only counted marriage proposals  starting last Thursday, the day following the game. Passions dimmed, and  cooler heads prevailed. We assume.
 
Of course, in terms of statistical counting, a marriage proposal  must involve a clear and explicit offer. We did not include any general  "wish you were with me" facebook posts. We did include a  Spanish-language offer, but were unable to translate the German posts.  Thus, if anything, our final number of 27 may be lower than it should  be. Due to logistical constraints, we only focused on a single  Alex Morgan Facebook page. And sorry gents, I know the word "single"  and "Alex Morgan" made your heart skip a beat. In fact she is attached.  Making these 27 proposals all the more audacious. 
 
And here they are, in all their glory...
 
 
Thus, as you can see, women's  soccer has finally arrived in America. CASE CLOSED. Susan B. Anthony's  ghost can stop stalking the Earth and ascend to Heaven. Feminists, time  to find a hobby to fill all this new world-of-perfect-equality free  time. These 27 fine young chaps show that the male sporting audience is  without a doubt committed. And we can all look forward to a reality TV  show involving this goalscoring striker if she ever reverts to  bachelorette status. 
 
Elliott blogs about soccer at Futfanatico.com
(Spotted by Tahir  Duckett, older brother of Vancouver Whitecaps defender Bilal Duckett) 
 
No comments:
Post a Comment