Australian amateur footballer sent off for genitalia piercing

In a supremely bizarre scene in Australia, an amateur footballer was shown a red card for a series of events that resulted from him playing with a genitalia piercing. And making it all the more surreal, the referee followed him into the dressing room to make sure he removed it right before sending him off anyway.

The player in question was Old Hill Wanderers captain Aaron Eccleston, and during a VicSoccer league match against Swinburne University reserves, the subject of his body piercing (which, as jewelry, is forbidden under the laws of the game) became the focus of attention. The Old Hill Wanderers' official website explains what happened:

During the first half, our player was struck in the groin by the ball, and left the field to receive attention.� At this point the referee became aware that the he had a body piercing. He subsequently received two yellow cards, firstly for re-entering the field of play without the referee's permission, and secondly for privacy reasons being unable to prove that he had removed the piercing. At no point during the incident did the player of Old Hill Wanderers expose himself to the referee or to other players on the field.

Old Hill Wanderers FC is satisfied that the conduct of both the referee and our player was reasonable, and accepts that the two yellow cards given to the player were in accordance with the laws of football.

Old Hill Wanderers FC apologises to VicSoccer and the referee in question regarding the negative attention that may have been generated by this unfortunate event.

The video of the incident (with NSFW audio) can be seen here. It clearly shows the referee escort Eccleston into the dressing room, then a short time later the two come out and the ref promptly flashes his red card.

According to the Herald Sun, Eccleston refused to speak about the matter. But he did comment on Twitter. When asked how he feels about all of Melbourne knowing about his piercing, Eccleston said: "I don't think my mum's going to be particularly happy!"

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Australian-amateur-footballer-sent-off-for-genit?urn=sow-wp2690

Ashley Cole Gennaro Gattuso Frank Lampard

Rumour Mongering: Pato, Zapata, and Stewart Downing?s Scarf

If nature abhors a vacuum, then the transfer window abhors a lack of batshit insane rumours to sell papers and drive hits with. And with many of Liverpool’s supposed targets cooling down after the more dubious corners of the intertubes had pushed them for weeks only for it to amount to nothing, a new round [...]

Source: http://liverpool.theoffside.com/transfer-news/rumour-mongering-pato-zapata-and-stewart-downings-scarf.html

Ricardo Quaresma Carlos Puyol Nemanja Vidic

U.S. OPEN CUP: Magee big at other end, too

FULLERTON -- Mike Magee followed his big afternoon in the nets by hitting the net, and so the Galaxy avoided a U.S. Open Cup upset Tuesday night against the L.A.� Blues.

Magee's goal in the 81st minute delivered a 2-1 victory for the Galaxy and a quarterfinal date against two-time defending champion Seattle Sounders on July 12 up in Tukwila, Wash.

Omar Gonzalez headed home a Juninho free kick in the 75th minute, then nodded another free kick across the goalmouth for Magee to finish as the Major League Soccer side overcame a second-half deficit.

Magee was again the hero, just three days after he stepped into the goal following an injury to starting netminder Donovan Ricketts and a red card to backup Josh Saunders and shut out San Jose for 47-plus minutes in a scoreless draw.

What's next on his itinerary?

“Oh, man, you guys are expecting too much now,” he said after the third-round clash at Cal State Fullerton's Titan Stadium. “I don't know -- hopefully, keep winning.”

Magee's been in a whirlwind since he pulled on Saunders jersey and a pair of gloves just before halftime Saturday and had his first experience as a goalkeeper. He did well enough, making four saves -- two of them quite good -- and was selected MLS Player of the Week.

“Luckily, I don't have a Twitter account, because I've heard it's been pretty intense on Twitter,” he said. “I've gotten a lot of texts and phone calls from family and friends. They're having a good time with it.

“I't been pretty nerve-racking. I'm still a little nervous from playing goalie. The butterflies haven't left yet.”

Magee didn't have to do any goalkeeping Tuesday. Brian Perk, the second-year, third-string goalkeeper who will take over when the Galaxy play Seattle in an MLS game Monday at Home Depot Center, got the start rather than Saunders -- just to get another game under his belt before his Fourth of July duty.

“I'm tremendously excited [for Monday],” he said. “I might not look it, but I've been waiting a year and a half now and haven't played many games, so it's good to make my MLS debut.”

(Read full post)

Source: http://espn.go.com/blog/los-angeles/soccer/post/_/id/9250/u-s-open-cup-magee-big-at-other-end-too

Fernando Torres Cesc Fàbregas Xavi

De Rosario Traded To DC For McCarty

  Yes, this is indeed real. Dwayne De Rosario has been traded from the New York Red Bulls to D.C. United in exchange for Dax McCarty. Let that one sink in for a moment. DeRo for Dax. Straight up. De Rosario began the 2011 MLS season with Toronto FC, registering one goal and one assist in two matches before being [...]

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WVHooligan/~3/8vrIQpd8zS4/

Carlos Puyol Nemanja Vidic Maxi Rodríguez

Udinese/Sanchez: Astute business or moneygrubbing scum? A debate

This is how it all began, in GChat: Isaiah: You’re the journalist, make us some news. Print something in the trib that we can cherry pick. Kxevin: I got nothing except a head full of bile regarding this Sanchez/Fabregas business and player happiness. There’s probably something in there kicking around. Jeffren, Krkic, Sanchez, Fabregas will [...]

Source: http://www.barcelonafootballblog.com/9547/udinesesanchez-astute-business-moneygrubbing-scum-debate/

Diego Forlán Michael Owen William Gallas

Football Removes Stigma From Haitian Amputees

Once upon a time, anyone who had a limb amputated was considered an outcast in Haiti. Then a 7.0-magnitude earthquake struck a year ago, and all of the sudden, a large portion of the country knew someone who had lost a limb. That mindset clearly had to change. Football has proven to be the driving [...]

Source: http://www.davesfootballblog.com/post/2011/01/19/football-removes-stigma-from-haitian-amputees/

David Beckham Daniele De Rossi Michael Ballack

FIFA should move to Denmark

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/fifa-should-move-to-denmark.html

Eduardo Da Silva Fabio Quagliarella Diego Milito

Jermaine Jones with a timely salute to his dad

Despite the U.S.'s struggles in the group stage and the fact that Jamaica had yet to concede a single goal in the tournament, the home side beat the Reggae Boyz 2-0 on Sunday to advance to the Gold Cup semifinals. The first goal was scored in the 49th minute when a shot from Jermaine Jones was deflected by a Jamaican defender into his own goal. The Schalke midfielder, who was born in Germany while his father was stationed there by the U.S. military,� was credited with the goal, though. And he celebrated his first score for national team with a salute as a father's day tribute to his dad.

From the AP:

"It was a nice little gift," said Jones in postgame remarks translated from German by teammate Steve Cherundolo.

Jones started his international career playing in three friendlies for Germany before FIFA allowed his move to the United States team in 2009.

"It was a sign of respect," Jones said of the celebration.

In the 66th minute, Jones had the good fortune of getting Jamaican defender Jermaine Taylor sent off with a straight red instead of earning his second yellow card for going down a little too easy. With the advantage, the U.S. found a second goal to seal the victory when Juan Agudelo set up Clint Dempsey, who once again put himself in position to score, but this time he actually finished and scored his second goal of the tournament.

Video of both goals right this way....

The U.S. will now get a rematch against Panama in the semis. Maybe this time they'll be able to beat the 67th best team in the world (according to FIFA).

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Jermaine-Jones-with-a-timely-salute-to-his-dad?urn=sow-wp2595

Ashley Cole Gennaro Gattuso Frank Lampard

Where are they now?

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/where-are-they-now.html

Patrick Vieira Diego Simão Sabrosa

Football Guessing Game: What happened to Allardyce?s lip?

Welcome to the very first edition of the fastest growing game in the world of football, "What's on Sam Allardyce's lip?!" This week, we have an image of the Big Sam from his unveiling as West Ham's new manager on Wednesday and, as you can clearly see, there's something on his bottom lip. Let's go to the guesses!

-Remnants of the chocolate wedding cake he had for breakfast.

-The result of fighting squirrels in the park.

-Something he got after sharing a glass of wine with a hobo.

-An attempt to one-up David Villa by growing a soul patch on his lip.

-A mark he got from licking Sharpie pens.

-The reason you don't tell Scott Parker that he has "the haircut of a greasy ponce who probably fondles himself to opera music."

-And, of course, there's The Big Sam's explanation.

Thanks for playing, everybody. We'll see you next time on, "What's on Sam Allardyce's lip?!"

[Theme music plays, audience claps, everyone contracts lip fungus]

Photo: Getty

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Football-Guessing-Game-What-happened-to-Allardy?urn=sow-wp2664

Owen Hargreaves Wesley Sneijder Ronaldo

Columbus wants to improve team but MLS's hurt feelings might get in the way

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/columbus-wants-to-improve-team-but-mlss.html

Joe Cole Miroslav Klose Sergio Ramos

Men Are From Mars, Like Women?s Football More

Shocking revelations unearthed from the bowels of the German interwebs:
Men like football more than women. (!)
Well, that’s sort of a foregone conclusion which requires a definitive scientific study as much as the lower reaches of calcio or Lance Armstrong’s B sample. But it’s true – men like both men’s football and women’s football more, as [...]

Source: http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-football/men-are-from-mars-like-womens-football-more.html

Arjen Robben Robinho Joe Cole

Clint Dempsey gives back to his Nacogdoches roots

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/clint-dempsey-gives-back-to-his.html

Joe Cole Miroslav Klose Sergio Ramos

Udinese/Sanchez: Astute business or moneygrubbing scum? A debate

This is how it all began, in GChat: Isaiah: You’re the journalist, make us some news. Print something in the trib that we can cherry pick. Kxevin: I got nothing except a head full of bile regarding this Sanchez/Fabregas business and player happiness. There’s probably something in there kicking around. Jeffren, Krkic, Sanchez, Fabregas will [...]

Source: http://www.barcelonafootballblog.com/9547/udinesesanchez-astute-business-moneygrubbing-scum-debate/

Eduardo Da Silva Fabio Quagliarella Diego Milito

Women's World Cup: Germany 2 Canada 1

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/womens-world-cup-germany-2-can.htm

Cesc Fàbregas Xavi Juan Román Riquelme

Women's World Cup: The USA meet a tough DPR Korea

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/womens-world-cup-the-usa-meet.htm

Zé Roberto Frank Ribéry Andriy Shevchenko

2011 FIFA Women?s World Cup TV Listings ? 26 June 2011

Below are television listings for all the Women’s World Cup matches on June 26, 2011. Times listed are USA Eastern (EST). Women’s World Cup TV Listings Sunday, 26 June 2011 Nigeria v France – 9AM – ESPN2 (USA), Rogers Sportsnet (Canada), EuroSport (Europe), SBS (Australia), Al Jazeera Sport (Middle East), ARD (Germany) Germany v Canada [...]

Source: http://www.the90thminute.com/soccer/2011/06/2011-fifa-womens-world-cup-tv-listings-26-june-2011/

Samir Nasri Ricardo Quaresma Carlos Puyol

Football on Mars

Football on Mars - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

How would you play football on Mars? A trio of University of Leicester undergraduates have studied just that, looking at how the reduced Martian gravity and light conditions would alter the dynamics of a football game. In what is effectively a very limited (2-page) study, the authors primarily look at how the reduced Martian gravity...

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/soccerlens/~3/4V2RtL92hgc/

Sergio Ramos Luca Toni Alex

Rumor Mongering: Adam, Wickham, Mata, Reina, and Self-Hate

The drama over Raul Meireles is possibly unfounded, probably overblown, and most likely something that will send me into a coma. That’s no reason to avoid the situation, though—peoples on the Twitter have assured us that other people score more goals and play golf more often, so there’s not much to worry about. Regardless of [...]

Source: http://liverpool.theoffside.com/team-news/rumor-mongering-adam-wickham-mata-reina-and-self-hate.html

Samuel Eto’o Steven Gerrard Lionel Messi

A tainted coronation, but Blatter has the last laugh

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/tainted-coronation-but-blatter-has-last.html

Carlos Puyol Nemanja Vidic Maxi Rodríguez

Thoughts On USA?s 2-4 Loss To Mexico (2011 CONCACAF Gold Cup Final)

It’s inevitable that fans will be critical of the United States after their disappointing 2-4 loss to Mexico. The USA were leading 2-0 in the first half but were thoroughly outplayed for the rest of the match. So, what now for the USA? Here are a few of my thoughts on the match and the [...]

Source: http://www.the90thminute.com/soccer/2011/06/thoughts-on-usas-2-4-loss-to-mexico-2011-concacaf-gold-cup-final/

Paolo Maldini Ashley Cole Gennaro Gattuso

What We Learned: MLS Week 15

I don’t honestly think I’ll tak about the US-Mexico game. I watched bits and pieces of it during the FC Dallas-Portland Timbers game on Saturday. Either way you spill it the US got sucked into a black hole once Jonathan Bornstein came onto the pitch. Whether or not he caused all the four Mexican goals is accurate or not, he [...]

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WVHooligan/~3/jnv2uyGMzas/

Ryan Giggs Paolo Maldini Ashley Cole

Britney Hosts Opening of Club Nikki In Las Vegas!

Here’s a couple of fan pics of Britney last night (June 25), at the opening of Club Nikki in Las Vegas!

Source: http://worldofbritney.com/photos/britney-hosts-opening-of-club-nikki-in-las-vegas/

Paris Hilton Patricia Arquette Pink

Columbus wants to improve team but MLS's hurt feelings might get in the way

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/07/columbus-wants-to-improve-team-but-mlss.html

Frédéric Kanouté Kolo Touré Vicente

Mexico strike Gold in California

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/mexico-strike-gold-in-california.html

Gary Neville Juninho Pernambucano Rafael van der Vaart

Copa America Markets Itself With Cartoons

The battle for South American supremacy will likely come down to a matter of two: Argentina and Brazil. The two don’t quite like each other, if you hadn’t noticed, thus escalating matters quite a bit. To the point where the tournament itself is being marketed as a watered down version of Tom & Jerry or [...]

Source: http://www.worldcupblog.org/copa-america/copa-america-markets-itself-with-cartoons.html

Thierry Henry Ronaldinho Cristiano Ronaldo

Photo of Carroll, Downing holding Liverpool scarf is apparently fake

Rumors have been circulating that Liverpool are chasing Aston Villa's Stewart Downing, so when a picture of Downing and Liverpool striker Andy Carroll posing with a fan and a Liverpool scarf in a bar popped up on Twitter, it appeared someone jumped the gun.

But, before Villa fans could refocus their nuclear rage from Alex McLeish to Downing, the club's official Twitter account declared it was just a bit of photoshoppery.

According to Downing, he did pose with Carroll and the fan, but they weren't holding a Liverpool scarf. And so that squashes the latest rumblings of summer transfer related outrage. Unless he's lying.

The picture of Carroll and Kenny Dalgish at a Boyzone concert, however, remains all too real.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Photo-of-Carroll-Downing-holding-Liverpool-scar?urn=sow-wp2642

Simão Sabrosa Arjen Robben Robinho

Harry Redknapp’s likely reaction to hearing Modric wants to leave

Having successfully rebuffed Chelsea's "ridiculous" �22 million offer for Luka Modric and assured everyone that he had absolutely no intention of ever selling the midfielder, Harry Redknapp and his family likely celebrated the way they celebrate most triumphs: by playing Wii. Mario Kart, Super Smash Brothers, Wii Sports -- judging by the above ad the Redknapps love it all and play it constantly. In fact, Harry probably just nailed a wicked 7-10 split in Wii bowling when he was informed of Modric's announcement.

From the Independent:

Modric said: "I want to leave Tottenham as friends. I have enjoyed my time there, but now it is right for me to look at another club. I have an arrangement with the chairman. When I signed my new contract, he said that, if another club came to sign me, they would consider the offer.

"Chelsea are a big club with an ambitious owner. They have great players and they have ambitions to fight for the title and win the Champions League. I want to stay in London. I am very happy here and so are my family. I like the city."

Upon hearing that, the Wii controller probably dropped from Harry's hands as he slipped into a state of shock as the sting of this betrayal set in. That Mario Kart race against Jamie would have to wait...

Poor Harry.

Photo: Getty

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Harry-Redknapp-s-likely-reaction-to-hearing-Modr?urn=sow-wp2579

Filippo Inzaghi Javier Zanetti Eduardo Da Silva

Weekend Guest Post: A Summer of Expectation

**This week’s guest post comes courtesy of Tony, who’s been commenting regularly as Tropics Red. He discusses the impact that the surge of young talent might have on Liverpool’s transfer strategy and the squad in general, as well as a look towards next season. You can get in touch with Tony through us at liverpooloffside@hotmail.com** [...]

Source: http://liverpool.theoffside.com/team-news/weekend-guest-post-a-summer-of-expectation.html

Gianluca Zambrotta Torsten Frings Pavel Nedved

More links! And when unveiling a new kit goes wrong!

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

Partizan Belgrade learn the importance of proper mannequin construction. [Globo]

Hand drawn Boca Juniors shirt designs. [The Beautiful Gear]

Don't download anything claiming to be a Neymar sex tape. [The Offside]

Let's leave "purity" out of the video technology debate. [The Score]

Club Tijuana won promotion to the Primera Division and their owner has quite the gun collection. [Unprofessional Foul]

The Brazilian footballer who "wanted to be a player, without having to play." Great read. [IBWM]

Mickey Mouse throwing an American football to Kaka. [KCKRS]

Jack Wilshere auditions to be the new...Continental. [Kickette]

Budweiser will only be used to water the pitch at Wembley, FA assures fans. [News Thump]

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/More-links-And-when-unveiling-a-new-kit-goes-wr?urn=sow-wp2564

Clarence Seedorf Florent Malouda Carlos Tévez

UEFA U21: Spain and the Czechs go through; England crash out with Ukraine

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/uefa-u21-championship-2011-england-v_19.html

Gary Neville Juninho Pernambucano Rafael van der Vaart

Our Own Private CONMEBOL

One of the side benefits of being an international soccer fan is the frequent refresher course in geography. Every so often, we are encouraged to grab a globe or fire up Google Maps, and we find ourselves saying, “Oh, so that’s where Slovenia is,” or, “Wow, that flight from London to Donetsk must be rough.”�Some [...]

Source: http://www.davesfootballblog.com/post/2011/06/06/our-own-private-conmebol/

Ricardo Carvalho Fernando Torres Cesc Fàbregas

Maradona rips Neymar/Pele, Messi tries a ‘Hand of God’

It's been a while since the last installment of the eternal feud between Pele and Maradona. What better time to revive it than right before Argentina hosts Copa America? Seizing the moment, Maradona continued the old man insult battle and even roped Neymar into it, as well.

Reacting to Neymar's comment that he didn't need a move from Santos to Europe in order to be better than Lionel Messi, Maradona said (via Goal.com):

"Neymar is bad-mannered, just like Pele," the Al Wasl coach told TVE.

"Messi is an exceptional player and I doubt anyone can separate him [from being the best]."?

Speaking of Messi, he tried to pay tribute to Maradona on the 25th anniversary of the "Hand of God" goal that helped Argentina win the 1986 World Cup in Monday's friendly against Albania...

He tried to say that he used his head instead of both his hands, but no one bought it. He did score one with his feet and set up a couple of others, but that's no surprise.

Photo: Reuters

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Maradona-rips-Neymar-Pele-Messi-tries-a-Hand-o?urn=sow-wp2650

Sergio Ramos Luca Toni Alex

'The Football Men' by Simon Kuper

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/football-men-by-simon-kuper.html

Andriy Shevchenko Patrick Vieira Diego

Germans to hold oracle octopus competition during Women’s WC

Spain's magnificent run in last summer's men's World Cup was nearly overshadowed by a now deceased octopus named Paul, who successfully "predicted" their win over the Netherlands in the final as well as Germany's seven matches in the tournament. Now, it's the women's turn to share the spotlight with aquarium dwelling cephalopods.

Germany, which was home to Paul and will host the Women's World Cup starting on Sunday, will also be the site of the search for Paul's successor. It will be an "Octopus Idol" or "The O Factor" of sorts, as the country's Sea Life centers try to recreate the worldwide interest (and money) generating delight that was Paul's massive fame that somehow lasted until his death last October at the age of 2 1/2.

Instead of just one octopus choosing which mussel it would like to eat out of two boxes bearing the flags of nations participating in a given match and having the result called a prediction of who will win that match, there will be eight. And those eight octopuses will unknowingly battle to see which of them will become the next Paul as the German women's team attempt to win their third straight World Cup.

From the AFP:

"We are currently conducting different skills-training exercises with the octopuses in the hope that at least one of them can forecast as well as Paul," said Britta Anlauf, spokeswoman for Sea Life Germany.

In order to ensure a level playing field, each of the eight Sea Life centres in Germany, which is host to the June 26-July 17 women's competition, will have exactly the same equipment, which will be delivered this week.

On the day of every Germany match at 11:00 am (0900 GMT), the octopuses will be put through their paces in Berlin, Hanover, Koenigswinter, Konstanz, Munich, Speyer, Timmendorfer Strand and at Paul's old home in Oberhausen.

The format of the competition is being kept secret. And along with the mysterious "skills-training" exercises (which implies there is not only skill involved in this, but skills that require the octopuses to train) Anlauf mentioned, there is certainly as much intrigue to this as a story about football match predicting sea creatures can have.

Some might advise the participating octopuses to just pick Germany every time if they want to be the next to have a shrine built in their honor, but they're octopuses, so that probably wouldn't do much good.

Photo: Getty

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Germans-to-hold-oracle-octopus-competition-durin?urn=sow-wp2610

Samuel Eto’o Steven Gerrard Lionel Messi

US starting lineup for Barbados World Cup Qualifier leg 2

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/us-starting-lineup-for-barbados-world.html

Hernán Crespo Owen Hargreaves Wesley Sneijder

Germany Tells Michael Ballack He?s Surplus To Requirements

There are things which are done and things which are not done.
Informing Michael Ballack that he is retired not of his own choosing seems like it’d fall into the latter category. But oh, they did it.
Jogi Loew & Co. announced that Mr. Ballack was no longer in consideration for a spot in the national [...]

Source: http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-football/germany-tells-michael-ballack-hes-surplus-to-requirements.html

Javier Zanetti Eduardo Da Silva Fabio Quagliarella

Women's World Cup: A surprising Canada make Germany sweat

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/womens-world-cup-a-surprising.htm

Philipp Lahm Gianluca Zambrotta Torsten Frings

Landon Donovan’s Gold Cup Adventure of Epic Broportions

It's been a busy week for Landon Donovan and the U.S. national team. Between traveling to attend his sister's wedding and the team's run to a big Gold Cup final matchup against Mexico, he's logged a lot of miles. So, Landon has once again put his experiences in words. The following is a transcript of his latest correspondence with his friends and family back home.

Sup doods?

It's been a minute since we've been in bromunication. I've been real busy, I'm sure you've heard about it on ESPN and stuff. First thing we need to cover... my sister's wedding. Absolutely redic. I was lookin' fresh to death in a blue rental tux-sweet-o, and you know it's not hard to tell which dude killin' it on the dance floor is the world famous soccer star. In short: I'm a phenomenal dancer. Don't act like you didn't already know that. The entire time the ceremony was going on I was just twitching to rage. Once it finished out and the bouquet was tossed it was straight to the reception... what's good.

Shrimp cocktail. Open bar. All the single chickita cousins of my sister's husband. Place was legit. I was everywhere... like Browen Wilson in Wedding Crashers. I made it a goal of mine to smash about eight rum and stokes before I hit the floor. Had to make sure the limbs were loose. Once I stepped out there all the mamis knew what was up.

But yeah, get this... I get back from my sibling nuptials and rejoin up with the brodeo that is Camp USA at the Gold Cup, and stiffly stifferson Bob Bradley, with his cueball dome piece, tells me I'm not starting against Jamaica. Anyway. What about Clint Dempsey? He was getting after it just like I was at his sister's wedding. And they're from Texas, they were probably eating rattle snakes and shizz. Why should I be penalized just because I got a little saucey in the bathroom with cousin Betty?

Regardless, I came off the bench and provided my usual dankness. To be honest, that was so long ago I can't even really remember. I periodically black out just to make sure I never stop striving to be the greatest. Can't dwell on those past accolades and accomplishments. Carpe diem, brosef.

Next up was vengeance against Panama. Hard fought match last night. I was once again started on the pine, only to fly in like a superherbro at the end to receive that lush through ball from Fred and then snipe Clint at the far post with a low-lazer cross. Victory. Just another final for Landy on deck. See you brahs there. Nothing gets my broner extended like a championship.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Landon-Donovan-s-Gold-Cup-Adventure-of-Epic-Brop?urn=sow-wp2705

Paul Scholes Roberto Ayala Ruud van Nistelrooy

How Kierkegaard could help Psycho tonight

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-kierkegaard-could-help-psycho.html

Fabio Cannavaro Gianluigi Buffon Wayne Rooney

Arsenal rejects Barca's offer of �27m for Fabregas

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/arsenal-rejects-barcas-offer-o.htm

Nery Castillo Javier Mascherano Adrian Mutu

Morgan Scores, Myths About Meireles, and Other Thursday Notes

We’re in the midst of a difficult stretch around these parts, and around any parts involving Liverpool. There’s no actual news to counter the steadily-flowing river of bullshit—aside from the youth international competitions we’ve used as methadone, there’s few fixes to be had. I suppose we can look to the opening of the transfer window [...]

Source: http://liverpool.theoffside.com/team-news/adam-morgan-scores-myths-about-meireles-and-other-thursday-notes.html

Rafael van der Vaart Robin Van Persie Samir Nasri

Chicharito scores with his crotch, U.S. v Mexico final is on

With a move he surely must have learned from the erotic teachings of The Continental, Chicharito followed up Aldo De Nigris' extra time goal by scoring one of his own using his crotch/arm in Mexico's 2-0 win over Honduras. Having already scored goals with his face, pancreas, and just about every other human body part, this further proves that Chicharito is capable of scoring with any section of his anatomy at any time.

So, the seemingly inevitable Gold Cup final of the U.S. v Mexico is now set. It's the third straight time we've had this matchup in the final -- the U.S. won 2-1 in 2007 and Mexico won 5-0 in 2009. Will Freddy Adu continue to be the Americans' secret weapon? Will Chicharito score with his earlobe? On Saturday, we will know.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Chicharito-scores-with-his-crotch-U-S-v-Mexico?urn=sow-wp2680

Fabio Cannavaro Gianluigi Buffon Wayne Rooney

Puma v 1.11 SL FG ? Fluorescent Green Review

I’ve got 99 problems but cleats ain’t one, Hit me! (in my Jay-Z voice) Puma has come out with their new and improved Puma v. 1.11 , and I must say Puma did an excellent job stepping their game up! The light weight cleat is great for the player whose game focuses on speed and [...]

Source: http://soccerprose.com/product-reviews/puma_v_1-11_sl_review/

Ricardo Carvalho Fernando Torres Cesc Fàbregas

Landon Donovan's Gold Cup Adventure of Epic Broportions

After a shock loss to Panama and an unsatisfying win over Guadeloupe, Landon Donovan has once again pounded out his thoughts on his latest adventure. The following is Landon's latest correspondence with his friends and family back home in California.

Yo what’s hood?

Been a lot of action flyin' around these past couple of days. First was the absolute debacle against Panama. I know I pulled a pretty legit “Bro Namath” in my last writing when I guaranteed the win for my dudes, but I didn’t know we were gonna come out like a bunch of pussy cats. All I can really do is abrahlogize for the performance and say we’re only gonna do it live from here on out. And that’s pretty much what we did against Guadeloupe last night.  Bottom line: game was on the line and we came through with the result. All it took was one ripski from Brozy and we could Cruis'n USA to victory. Sure we would have liked to make the ball touch the lingerie a few more times, but sometimes you just don’t get those breaks. And other times Clint Dempsey is trying too hard to get his swag on. It’s whatever -- that swag is the reason he’s one of our illest players and def the best player in the Premiership.

Anyway, it’s been cool chaying out with some of the new dudes on the squad. Juany Agudelo is a bro. Eric Lichaj has a dope faux hawk. And Chris Wondolowski not only has a sweet last name, but he’s also just like my MLS boy Brian Ching. So naturally we get a long. The only difference is lowski doesn’t catch as many nose bleeds. Pretty sure he snorts when he laughs though.

People are ragging on big daddy Bradley, saying we haven’t been in the best run of form and ish. I say we’ve played three good halves in a row and people need to chillax. I would have scored last night if I wanted to, but then I realized that, although the scenario was kind of the same, this wasn’t nearly as cool as the Algeria match, and I should probably just chill and wait until some bigger game comes around. Mexibros -- I’m comin' for you.

Next up is Jamaica, which should be a pretty sick time. I’ve listened to Bob Marley before so I’m pretty sure all those guys are chill. Maybe we’ll “hang out” after the game or something once I shred their D like wheat based cereal.

Peace out. One love. 

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Landon-Donovan-s-Gold-Cup-Adventure-of-Epic-Brop?urn=sow-363248

Ronaldo David Silva Andrés Iniesta

Spain are the U21 kings of Europe

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/spain-are-u21-kings-of-europe.html

Shunsuke Nakamura Alexandre Pato Maicon

US starting lineup for Barbados World Cup Qualifier leg 2

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/us-starting-lineup-for-barbados-world.html

Maxi Rodríguez Philipp Lahm Gianluca Zambrotta

'The Football Men' by Simon Kuper

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/football-men-by-simon-kuper.html

Dimitar Berbatov David Albelda Alessandro Nesta

Roman Abramovich reportedly officiated Drogba’s wedding

After 12 years and three kids together, Didier Drogba married Lalla Diakite in a private ceremony in Monaco on Saturday. Of course, footballer weddings aren't usually things we cover at Dirty Tackle, but for this one we have to make an exception. Read this section from GhanaSoccernet's story on the nuptials and see if any nuggets of information stand out:

The ceremony was officiated by club owner Roman Abramovich, with team-mates Salomon Kalou and Florent Malouda among the groom's men.

RnB superstar Akon and a host of stars from NBA were also said to be included on the list of guests for the event.

There must be some confusion here, right? I could see Abramovich hosting the even at some lavish property he owns or even paying for it, but officiating the ceremony? Does that mean he actually married them? It can't. When you have more than four yachts does that grant you the ability to marry people? Or do all football club owners have the ability to marry off their players?

Didier needs to make the video of this available to the public. We need to see this.

Photo: PA

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Roman-Abramovich-reportedly-officiated-Drogba-8?urn=sow-wp2558

Michael Essien David Villa Francesco Totti

Tackling a cultural deficit

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/tackling-cultural-deficit.html

Nery Castillo Javier Mascherano Adrian Mutu

DTotD: River Plate fans invade pitch, get pushy with own players

Their team down 2-0 in the first leg of its playoff against second division champions Belgrano and staring a once unthinkable relegation in the face (if it had a face), River Plate fans snapped. Their club has more Argentine Primera Division titles (33) than any other and since violence seems to be the natural reaction to anything even tangentially related to football there, they handled their grief by attacking the players during the match.

A group of fans slipped through a hole in the massive fence that was supposed to protect the participants from the spectators and shoved and taunted their own players around midfield. The invaders then ran back to the fence and climbed up and over the barbed wire around the top. They then joined their peers in beating the crud out of that fence.

The match was suspended for 20 minutes, but it didn't stop River from still being down 2-0 at the final whistle. The second leg will be at home for River and, if it�loses, it'll probably have to declare a national state of emergency.

Video via 101gg

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/DTotD-River-Plate-fans-invade-pitch-get-pushy-?urn=sow-wp2700

Andrés Iniesta Dejan Stankovic Clarence Seedorf

Will Arsenal let success go to their heads?

So, how do you follow up beating Barcelona? That is the question that Arsene Wenger is now having to answer after observing his side prove that they can stand up to the best side in the world and then take their chances as and when they need to. However, for the Gunners, the time between [...]

Source: http://www.footballnewsblog.co.uk/premiership/will-arsenal-let-success-go-to-their-heads/

Diego Milito Gabriel Milito Gary Neville

'The Football Men' by Simon Kuper

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/football-men-by-simon-kuper.html

Wayne Rooney Samuel Eto’o Steven Gerrard

DTotD: A young grad of the Barton-De Jong School of Tackling

A two-footed tackle from behind before casually walking away as his opponent writhes in pain? Yes, you're looking at a member of the first graduating class of the Barton-De Jong School of Tackling for the Gifted -- a prestigious academy that is already producing some of the most dangerous young tacklers in the world.

With classes like "Not That Kind of Player 101" and "Reacting with Surprise to Being Shown a Red Card," the Barton-De Jong School prepares kids for the realities of reckless challenges in the real world. Enroll your child today!

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/DTotD-A-young-grad-of-the-Barton-De-Jong-School?urn=sow-wp2545

Diego Milito Gabriel Milito Gary Neville

Levesque celebrates goal with pretend scuba diving adventure

Count me as one who thinks goal celebrations in MLS have been lacking for the past few years. In a similar fashion to the NBA slam dunk contest, the level of creativity displayed by recent goal scorers is troublesome, and if it continues like this it could be detrimental for the future of showboating in our domestic game. We can't compete with the big leagues in Europe if we can't celebrate like them. How many of the same old airplanes, impromptu shirt-strippings, and karate attacks on the corner flag should we be expected to sit through without saying anything? We need Robbie Fowler on line one, because that's a guy who knew how to celebrate a goal with some creativity.

And we also need Roger Levesque to keep scoring goals. Thursday night at the newly named CenturyLink Field, Red Bull's goalkeeper Greg Sutton received a backpass at the edge of the 18-yard box and completely bugged out once the ball reached his feet. Sutton was unable to find an open pass or any sense of general footballing coordination, allowing the on-rushing Levesque to swoop in, steal the ball, give the Sounders an unassailable 4-2 lead, and cap it all off by pretending to scuba dive off the advertising board. That's what I'm talking about.

Without a doubt the celebration of the year thus far in MLS.

Video courtesy MLSsoccer.com

Follow Yahoo! Sports on Facebook and be the first to know about the most interesting stories of the day.

Other popular Yahoo! Sports stories:
? Soccer player kicked out for his body art
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? Video: Dramatic new footage of what happened to 'kissing couple'

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Levesque-celebrates-goal-with-pretend-scuba-divi?urn=sow-wp2743

Francesco Totti Paul Scholes Roberto Ayala

Photo of Carroll, Downing holding Liverpool scarf is apparently fake

Rumors have been circulating that Liverpool are chasing Aston Villa's Stewart Downing, so when a picture of Downing and Liverpool striker Andy Carroll posing with a fan and a Liverpool scarf in a bar popped up on Twitter, it appeared someone jumped the gun.

But, before Villa fans could refocus their nuclear rage from Alex McLeish to Downing, the club's official Twitter account declared it was just a bit of photoshoppery.

According to Downing, he did pose with Carroll and the fan, but they weren't holding a Liverpool scarf. And so that squashes the latest rumblings of summer transfer related outrage. Unless he's lying.

The picture of Carroll and Kenny Dalgish at a Boyzone concert, however, remains all too real.

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Photo-of-Carroll-Downing-holding-Liverpool-scar?urn=sow-wp2642

Andrés Iniesta Dejan Stankovic Clarence Seedorf

England look to young guns for hope

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/england-look-to-young-guns-for-hope.html

Ashley Cole Gennaro Gattuso Frank Lampard

Poll Time! Who do you want to sign this summer? + U21 LiveBlog

Note: the results from the Fabregas poll conducted here on BFB show a 83% of you either don’t want to sign Fabregas at all or only when the price/time is right. Just sayin’. Interesting. Another note: I’ll be running a LiveBlog for the Spain U21 vs England U21s today. It’s at 2:45pmEST if you want [...]

Source: http://www.barcelonafootballblog.com/9464/poll-time-sign-summer/

Joe Cole Miroslav Klose Sergio Ramos

Japan backs out once more

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/05/japan-backs-out-once-more.html

Carlos Tévez David Beckham Daniele De Rossi

GOLD CUP: Notes on the Semifinal

GOLD CUP: Notes on the Semifinal - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

With the Gold Cup semifinals taking place in Houston I got the chance to get some notes from the teams during their press and training day Tuesday. The general consensus was that the teams all respect each other and feel the competition level is the highest it?s been in the tournament for quite some time. Here are some notes on each team from the day ahead of the final four.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/soccerlens/~3/Wl-9k0z8oEE/

Cesc Fàbregas Xavi Juan Román Riquelme

FIFA 12 PC Press Release

Earlier Tom brought you the first FIFA 12 PC screenshot (which looks awesome) and now we have the full press release from EA SPORTS for you after a minor glitch earlier. It’s great news for PC gamers essentially, as�all of the big gameplay features�new to�the console version of FIFA 12 will be winging their way [...]

Source: http://fifasoccerblog.com/blog/fifa-12-pc-press-release/

Robinho Joe Cole Miroslav Klose

EA Italia Interview Dave Rutter

If I could ask Dave Rutter one question, what would it be? That’s a�dilemma I consider quite often given that Dave’s time these days is so precious. What I definitely wouldn’t ask him about though is the end of the world. In a hilarious interview with EA Italia Dave Rutter talks about all things not [...]

Source: http://fifasoccerblog.com/blog/ea-italia-interview-dave-rutter/

John Terry Zlatan Ibrahimović Michael Essien

Spain come back from the brink...

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/spain-come-back-from-the-brink.htm

Deco John Terry Zlatan Ibrahimović

Kewell the answer to A-League?s Marquee Question?

Kewell the answer to A-League’s Marquee Question? - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

The A-League has a generous system encouraging Australian teams to sign global superstars. Yet no-one seems to be taking advantage of it.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/soccerlens/~3/jmU1fb6BY2s/

Adrian Mutu Kim Kallström Filippo Inzaghi

Motors Driving Towards Success In Korea

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/motors-driving-towards-success-in-korea.html

Maicon Jamie Carragher Sergio Agüero

Champions League set for London again

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/champions-league-set-for-london-again.html

Robinho Joe Cole Miroslav Klose

How to Make Stuff Up and Not Get Caught.

BFB-style. A lone man stood in his office, hands clasped behind his back, staring out of a large window to the bustling city below. The sun’s rays illuminated the dimly lit room He wore a white dress shirt, straight black pants, and polished shoes. He seemed to be in deep thought, though what he was [...]

Source: http://www.barcelonafootballblog.com/9495/stuff-caught/

David Albelda Alessandro Nesta Ricardo Carvalho

GOLD CUP: Anticipated finale materializes as US and Mexico hold serve

GOLD CUP: Anticipated finale materializes as US and Mexico hold serve - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

OK CONCACAF and Gold Cup coordinators you can exhale. It looked rocky at times but all your worry was for nothing. The dream final is set for Saturday and after Wednesday?s matches the US and Mexico look to be a more of an even talent level than anyone would have predicted a week ago.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/soccerlens/~3/_TLLZ0d2sOI/

Frank Lampard Rio Ferdinand Deco

Blanc and black and red all over

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/05/blanc-and-black-and-red-all-over.html

Alessandro Nesta Ricardo Carvalho Fernando Torres

More links! And Hugh Jackman at a Philadelphia Union game?

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award-winning Dirty Tackle...

So why was Wolverine at Wednesday night's Philadelphia Union match? He's apparently buddies with the club's chairman. Also, Stu Holden and his jorts were there too. [Brotherly Game]

Nike France and Brazil polos are pretty nice. [The Beautiful Gear]

Germany are 6-5 favorites to win their third straight Women's World Cup. [KCKRS]

Pep Guardiola: Obsession down memory lane. [IBWM]

Russians still throwing bananas at Roberto Carlos. [The Offside]

The new language of football. [Kickette]

Villas-Boas at Chelsea: New era or deja vu? [Backpage Football]

Abramovich getting impatient as Villas-Boas enters second trophyless day. [News Thump]

DT nominated for an award! Vote for us in the "funniest and most entertaining football website" category here: [Caught Offside]

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/More-links-And-Hugh-Jackman-at-a-Philadelphia-U?urn=sow-wp2727

David Silva Andrés Iniesta Dejan Stankovic

This Crud's for you

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/this-cruds-for-you.html

Pavel Nedved Frédéric Kanouté Kolo Touré

The real reason behind Jack Warner's resignation

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/the-real-reason-behind-jack-wa.htm

Andriy Shevchenko Patrick Vieira Diego

Messi Scores Goals, People Rank Them

Reader Gurvinder sent us this Top 10 Messi goals of 10/11 which I thought I’d post because it’s a bit of a slow day and, really, who doesn’t love to watch some Messi highlights? What do you think of this top 10? Personally I think his greatest goal was the one against Arsenal that’s not [...]

Source: http://www.barcelonafootballblog.com/9481/messi-scores-goals-people-rank/

Pavel Nedved Frédéric Kanouté Kolo Touré

2011 Copa Libertadores: Santos beat Penarol, 2-1

Source: http://www.soccerblog.com/2011/06/2011-copa-libertadores-santos.htm

Michael Essien David Villa Francesco Totti

LA Galaxy 2011-12 Home Jersey Review

The MLS is beginning to make some headway in terms of quality, respect and global recognition, so it?s about high time the league gets some quality, respectable jerseys, right? That?s not to say previous jerseys looked amateurish, but they certainly lacked a ?sleek? kind of quality, save a couple here and there. ANYWAY, what I [...]

Source: http://soccerprose.com/product-reviews/la-galaxy-2011-12-home-jersey-review/

Gianluca Zambrotta Torsten Frings Pavel Nedved

How Kierkegaard could help Psycho tonight

Source: http://soccerphile.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-kierkegaard-could-help-psycho.html

Sergio Ramos Luca Toni Alex

Steelers Have Only Themselves To Blame

A famous coach once said you can’t turn the ball over and expect to win the game. And yet, the Pittsburgh Steelers had a shot to win Super Bowl XLV. Down 6 points with two minutes to go from their own 13 yard line, Ben Roethlisberger led the Steelers’ offense on the field against a [...]

Source: http://www.davesfootballblog.com/post/2011/02/07/steelers-have-only-themselves-to-blame/

Petr Cech Fabio Cannavaro Gianluigi Buffon

GOLD CUP: Panama king in penalties in win over El Salvador

GOLD CUP: Panama king in penalties in win over El Salvador - originally posted on Soccerlens.com

For the second time this weekend a Gold Cup quarterfinal was decided in penalty kicks. This time it was Panama who came out on top 5-3 after they played El Salvador to a 120 minute 1-1 draw. The match had everything you could ask for in a match; theatrics, late goals, physicality, red cards and then the suspense at the end. It even had a stadium full of angry El Salvadorian fans who couldn?t believe their team blew a late 1-0 lead.

From Soccerlens.com - Football News

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/soccerlens/~3/hoMrTyve2AI/

Dejan Stankovic Clarence Seedorf Florent Malouda

Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XIX

Unbelievable as it is, Andrei/ey Arshavin conducted yet another Q&A session with the supremely unstable visitors to his official website in late May and, until now, it has eluded our focus. So, without anymore blather, let's wade into the weird.

1. From RomanR
Andrey, there is a very interesting trend of martial arts: non-contact fight. There are a lot of information and studies about it on Internet. Some professional athletes use some elements of
this technique in their sports activities. Experienced football players sometimes also resort to similar methods, however, I believe, not on a regular basis, but rather they do it intuitively.
Andrey, what if you study this issue, consult the professionals and use this technique to make your football style even more unique and intriguing? That would be great to hear a commentator describing a match like this: "Arshavin approaches a penalty area with the ball, strange
movement, he seems to lose coordination ... although, no ... it's the opponents' defender who loses balance, another defender stumbles ... the goalie is falling flailing hands....". I'm quite serious, what do you think?
AA: And what do you think about inventing such a strike, after
which the ball flies right into the net, but you don't have to touch the ball for it. I think this will be useful in football. Will you come up with an idea how to do it?

Andrei shouldn't joke. RomanR has clearly put a lot of thought into this football/non-contact martial arts hybrid (all the way down to the fictitious commentary of it). I'm willing to bet he will have diagrams and PowerPoint presentations on how to execute such a maneuver within the hour.

2. From Grabow
Andrey, do you think Fernando Torres and David Luis made
Chelsea stronger or not? And one more, Andrey, what clubs can compete with Arsenal for the top spot in the EPL this year?
AA: Of course, they did.

Fernando Torres scored one whole goal for Chelsea. The answer to your first question is so blatantly obvious, Grabow, that Andrei has totally ignored your second question just to give his answer the proper abruptness.

4. snowman
Hello Andrey, I want to you ask your advice: my dream is to learn snowboarding, but my mom and grandma don't let me do it, they say I'll break my bones! What should I do - listen to them and never fulfill the dream, or ignore them and do it my way.
AA: I think you have to promise your parents that you will follow all safety rules. Then, everything should be fine.

Unless you still get hurt. Anyway, since when do snowmen have to answer to moms and grandmas?

5. sergunvarsenale
Andrey, what street do you live on and what's your house number?
AA: I wouldn't want to disclose it. Those who already know it come over very often for an autograph and bring their friends. I can tell you a district: Hampstead.

Nice try, sergunvarsenale. But Andrei is far too smart for your lazy approach to stalking. Now put in the leg work and start ringing every doorbell in Hampstead.

6. 4767647465
What do you think about bodybuilding?
AA: When the body of an athlete is toned to a certain extent, I suppose it looks good and girls should like it.

Andrei Arshavin knows what girls should like.

7. SvetlanaQi
Andrey, I've noticed that you always leave the stadium very quickly and I want to know what you're so in a hurry to do after the game? Thanks in advance for your answer :)
AA: What's the point to sit around?

Plus he wants to get going before sergunvarsenale can follow him back to Hampstead.

9. GavrilovaJulia
Andrey, do you have a lot of security =) Do not think that an attempt on you is being prepared, I'm just curious))))
AA: I don't have any. Never had.

WHAT?!?! Dear God -- between sergunvarsenale asking where you live and GavrilovaJulia inquiring about your level of security and whether you're aware of the fact that she is preparing to carry out an assassination attempt, you better get some security quick. RUN ANDREI! RUN BEFORE THEY GET YOU!

10. GavrilovaJulia
Andrey, do you think that scars adorn a man? Thanks in advance for your response.
AA: They say it.

GavrilovaJulia's follow up question is about scars?!?! That was the only way her line of questioning could have gotten more disturbing. With a follow up about scars on a man. Stop answering and flee to the panic room, Andrei! This is defcon 12! DEFCON 12!

11. Yanita
Hi Andrey, this is the fifth letter I have scribbled. I hope you'll get it ( but I doubt it)))) What is your favorite movie? I just think that one can learn a lot about a person from what he/she watches.
AA: Off the top of my head? Well, "Legends of the Fall ", "Dancer in the Dark".
Among the Russian films - "Brother" and some other films. What have I watched recently? The new "Office Romance". I'd rather not comment on this one.

Does it surprise anyone at all that Andrey listed a film that stars Bjork? No? Good.

14. vovochka711
Dear Andrey! At the moment I am a reserve player of FC Spartak (Moscow). However, I rarely come out to play this year, I don't have enough playing practice. My coach says
that if I agree to change my sex, I can successfully play in the Women's league, will have a lot of practice and I will finally have my own fans. Question: Do you think my love for football is worth a sacrifice?
AA: You have very funny coaches in Spartak.

The coaches probably are kidding, Andrei. But I don't think vovochka711 is. Maybe GavrilovaJulia can help him out...

15. Zigano
What brought you more joy: a goal against Barcelona or four against Liverpool?
AA: Goals against Liverpool.

"Screw you, Liverpool" -- Andrei Arshavin.

16. Adidas777
Assalom Alaykum, Andrey. What is 70 30
AA: Wa Alaykum Assalam, Adidas777! One hundred. It is the natural number following 99 and preceding 101 :)

And Andrey thwarts Adidas' latest attempt to bewilder Nike athletes with simplistic brain teasers.

17. Fifka777
Do you already have a favorite English dish?
AA: So far I haven't tried any real English dish. The food stuff here is good, of good quality.

18. Fifka777
What Julia cooks best of all?
AA: Everything that my Julia cooks comes out yummy

Yummy! :))))))))))))))))))))

19. Dsinkov
Hello Andrey, I guess you had a lot of advice from more experienced players during your football career. Please tell at least one football secret :)
AA: I remember long ago I was once told: "Do not listen to us old ones, do as you see fit"

"Screw you, old people." -- Andrei Arshavin.

Andrei Arshavin conducts greatest Q&A ever, part XVIII

Photo: Getty Images

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Andrei-Arshavin-conducts-greatest-Q-A-ever-part?urn=sow-wp2533

Gabriel Milito Gary Neville Juninho Pernambucano

US starting lineup for Barbados World Cup Qualifier leg 2

Source: http://mysoccerblog.blogspot.com/2008/06/us-starting-lineup-for-barbados-world.html

Gennaro Gattuso Frank Lampard Rio Ferdinand

LOCALS: Fusion-West Brom details

The Ventura County Fusion's July 17 friendly with English Premier League side West Bromwich Albion at Oxnard College is official.

The game will begin at 3 p.m., and advance tickets, purchased from the Fusion's website, are $15 ($8 for children under 17) with a family deal also available. Tickets will be $20 and $12 at the gate.

The Fusion has a link to West Brom, a Midlands club that will spend 10 days of its preseason camp in Oxnard and also play friendlies against the San Jose Earthquakes and Portland Timbers. Ventura County's director of soccer, Graham Smith, is a former West Brom goalkeeper and president of First Wave Sports Marketing, which is organizing the Baggies' tour.

Source: http://espn.go.com/blog/los-angeles/soccer/post/_/id/9000/locals-fusion-west-brom-details

Ryan Giggs Paolo Maldini Ashley Cole