Louis Saha
OK, so, in retrospect, trying to jump a fence inside a tunnel with my £170,000 Ferrari was a mistake. I mean, yeah, I realize that now. ... But how was I supposed to know that before I tried it? There's no way. ... It's the same with my hair. How would I know that frosted tips would look ridiculous without ignoring the advice of my stylist and doing it myself? ... These are just things you have to try. ... Like eating the pages of a cookbook or flushing your arm down a toilet. ... Anyway, I'll probably buy a new Ferrari and try it again at some point...
Mascot Girl
Oh my god this is awesome! ... David Beckham totally has his arms around me and his wife is going to be super jealous. ... I don't even know what to say to him first -- it's too crazy. ... Maybe I'll tell him his hair looks worse than my friend Dana's and her little brother cut hers while she was asleep. ... Maybe I'll tell him his tattoos look like something my friend Teddy would draw and Teddy doesn't have hands. ... Maybe I should tell him that he shouldn't even try to do the Ancelotti eyebrow because it just doesn't work for him and his bad hair. ... I can't wait to tell US Weekly that we're dating now...
Manuel Neuer
BERZERKER!
Salomon Kalou
Time for my famous disgraces. ... First, Didier stole my catchphrase and has been acting like he invented it when it was really mine first. That's a total Kalouing disgrace. ... Then, I have more goals than Anelka this season and still I don't start every match. That's a stupid Kalouing disgrace. ... Then, the best kitty in the world, Katou, lost a Chelsea pet competition to Didier's obese Kitier Katba. That's an offensive Kalouing disgrace. ... Then, Didier refused to bring the chicken McNuggets I asked him to bring for my Carling Cup final party. That's a disappointing Kalouing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald referees who probably hate Chelsea just because of Didier cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...
Photos: Getty, Reuters
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