Sunday, March 6, 2011

If it continued... (Chelsea v Man Utd)

Chelsea came from behind to notch a reinvigorating 2-1 win over Manchester United on Tuesday. While Alex Ferguson chalked it up to bad referee decisions, Chelsea are taking it as reason to believe that they are not a bunch of old men in hospice care. But there is still one question that remains as the rush of blood to Fergie's nose subsides...what if it continued?

97' -- Referee catches himself singing "Blue is the Color," tries to cover by making himself cough until he actually kind of chokes on his own saliva. Fergie sees this, no longer thinks he's favoring Chelsea and is just a spaz. Atkinson quietly exclaims, "Success!"

101' -- Though no longer in the match, David Luiz sneaks over to the Man United bench and bodychecks Paul Scholes. Scholes asks the heavens how anyone could get away with such a flagrant offense.

108' -- Didier Drogba fails to score, blames malaria and previously undiagnosed case of the black plague. 

113' -- Back in the dressing room, Nemanja Vidic tries to reprogram himself to get revenge on Atkinson for sending him off, but he does it wrong and targets "Mr. Bean" actor Rowan Atkinson instead.

120' -- Rio Ferdinand calls someone an #egg on Twitter, high-fives himself for being so witty.

125' -- Still looking for his first Chelsea goal, Fernando Torres tries to remember what he did before years of playing for Liverpool eroded his skills. All he can hear is Steven Gerrard talking about the time Phil Collins played "Sussudio" and forgot some of the words.

132' -- Wayne Rooney wonders when he'll catch a break. Also, when doctors will find a cure for short-term memory loss and obscene masses of freckles. 

136' -- Ashley Cole pulls an air rifle out of nowhere and begins "larking about" with it. He accidentally shoots Man Utd's Rafael, but no one cares because they have another one.

138' -- The dead horse that is Ashley Cole shooting jokes continues to be dead. 

140' -- Incensed that his boys are still losing, Fergie gives the hairdryer treatment to the fourth official, who immediately signals eight days of added time. Fergie smiles. Finally something fair. 

Photo: Reuters

Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/If-it-continued-Chelsea-v-Man-Utd-?urn=sow-328674

Vicente Diego Forlán Michael Owen

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