Well hello there.
I see you've caught me using me using my Berba-bilities to hypnotize this older gentleman next to me. Does this make you jealous? Because it should. ... No, I'm not hoping to take him back to my shack in the woods for an evening of Connect Four and mayo martinis with my cousin Timitar Berbatov.� That offer remains solely for you. Or any other Berba-babes willing to accept. Ha-HA!
Though you've denied my erotic powers to enchant and captivate many times in the past, this should prove that they are very real and very arousing. Just look at this elderly fellow. His eyes can't drink The Berba in fast enough. Granted, sitting with my chin up and both my arms and legs crossed as I contemplate world issues like why I smell so good and what magazine deserves to publish some of my many nude self-caricatures would make it difficult for anyone to resist my charms. ... Yes, I often draw caricatures of myself in the nude. Sometimes of me on roller skates or playing tennis or playing tennis on roller skates. ... Please stop laughing.
Anyway, now I will blink twice to release this geriatric chap from my tantric spell, so I can focus my Berba-magic on your voluptuous mind. ... Yes, it will work on you just as it has on the person with the gray sideburns, who, for some reason, won't stop staring at me even though I broke the spell. ... Giggs? No, I'm pretty sure his name is Tom something. ... Though I can't blame him for wanting a longer look, I must say that I'm starting to find it unsettling. ... Seriously. Why won't he stop?
Oh-OHHH! You just zapped me with a bear taser! Oh, why did you do that? That hurt so much! Oh, and I hadn't even gotten to trying to titillate your senses with the sardines and cabbage I have taped to my body! Why is this aged stranger still staring at me?! Oh, what kind of person would be so unabashedly creepy? ... Yes, besides me.
Join us again next time for another chapter in the life of...The Continental...
No comments:
Post a Comment